Dane Cook Sucks
I was looking forward to Dane Cook’s new show “Tourgasm”. I was excited enough that i would watch entourage first and then watch the dane cook show. As i would be laughing so much i couldn’t watch anything else. But after watching the Dane Cook show, my girlfriend asked if we wanted to watch entourage again.
The show basically follows four comedians as they do the tourgasm road trip. Going to some off 20 shows in 30 days across america. I don’t know the exact specifics of this show, but who cares. So it just follows comedians around as they try there hardest to be funny around each other. I guess i have a problem in the sense that i don’t even like comedy all that much, or comedians. Having been around comedians a few times, i know that they are always “on” and its terrible. And watching this show, just reminds me of how much i hate comedians.
Now i look back on it all, and i can say that the commercials for the show are not funny either. Just with the Dan Cook name attached to it, i just assumed that it would be all hilarity.
The show is for people who don’t know who Dane Cook is, I guess there is a lot of people out there who don’t know who he is. If you are a Dan Cook fan, i wouldn’t watch the show, it is terrible.
I am not going to put a picture up or link to anything, I have so much hate.
July 31st, 2006 at 3:14 pm
Anyone that thinks Dane Cook is funny should have there head examined. This guy is a tool. He brainwashed college kids through his web site to believe that he was the MAN. Which is total bull. This guy has a huge data base of robot fans that will pay to see him , and they only pay $17 to see him , if you don’t believe me check out any college he has ever played at, but he has absolutely zero talent. The last time I was in New York I hung out at the “New York Comedy Club” and saw a comedian named “Robert Bella” , a cross between Steve Martin and Rodney Dangerfield , the funniest comic I have seen in years !!!! You want to laugh , see this guy , believe me you will thank me for the rest of your life. Make sure you call to see if he is performing , that way you don’t go there just to see the average comedians.
September 12th, 2006 at 7:28 pm
Yes, indeed…..Dane Cook sucks. His material is just flat out lame.
His basic concept: Talk about some relationships and make a bunch of funny noises and sound effects…..and, oh yeah, yell and scream alot…..then some more funny noises.
It’s sad that this guy’s albums are huge - I guess that just goes to show you how lame, uneducated, and brain dead the youth of America are today.
Other comedians out there come with some seriously funny material and fail to get recognized - yet this guy jumps around and makes some noises and he’s a HUGE sensation……go figure.
You want to listen to some REAL comedy pick up some Patton Oswalt, David Cross, Jim Gaffigan, Daniel Tosh, Greg Giraldo, Doug Stanhope, Dave Attell, Lewis Black, Mike Birbiglia, and Todd Barry…….pick up some older stuff from guys like Lenny Bruce, George Carlin, and Bill Hicks.
There’s some REAL comedy.
Dane Cook is nothing but a one trick pony……he’s the Ipod-generation’s answer to Andrew Dice Clay. In 10 years some D-List “celebrity” will be on VH1’s “Remember the 2000’s” making fun of the whole Dane Cook fad.
Now to be fair……I find Dane Cook to actually be pretty good - but not at stand up. He’s actually not bad as an actor in quirky, physical comedy roles.
He had some scenes in “Waiting” that were pretty funny.
That said……his stand up is crap…….I guess there are more people than I thought out there with IQ’s below 50…….and they apparently buy a lot of crappy comedy CD’s.
September 14th, 2006 at 5:30 pm
TommyBoy could not have said it better. I absolutely hate Dane Cook. I bought retaliation because everyone is telling me how funny it is. I listened to it and did not even crack a smile throughout that 3 disc compilation. The man is not, by any means talanted; as a matter of fact the CD did the opposite of make me laugh. It pissed me off knowing that I spent $25.99 on horseshit! I cannot stand the fact that everybody loves this non-humourous, untalanted, sad excuse of a comedian.
September 18th, 2006 at 6:26 pm
I agree, fuck dane cook!
September 19th, 2006 at 10:22 pm
Man, I just finished (sorta) watching “Vicious Assrape” and, well, the mock title should tell you enough. But don’t worry about him being huge. So were New Kids on the Block and don’t give the kids of today any extra credit, they’ve been braindead since at least the seventies. Five years from now he’ll probably be lucky to get a show at an Indian casino…
September 21st, 2006 at 10:37 am
Yaa, I used to like Dane Cook, I shall not lie. But reciently, I have found out that this Dirt bag is simply put not funny at all. I mean, my fart in the hamilton room in college was miles funnier than this piece of dog fecal matter. M eand a few friends actually destroyed his 2 disc compallation. the cashews bit is not funny. People, do not by any of Danes Cooks Compact Discs.
September 23rd, 2006 at 5:06 pm
Wow, the internet is actually useful for something sometimes… I just moved into this apartment and got an HDTV hook-up and on Comcast in Chicago, they have free shit if you subscribe to HBO, on of which is this Dane Cook “Vicious” special. I figured what the hell, it’s free and I’ve heard the buzz about this guy.
What a pile of shit. This guy is surrounded by 5,000 people and huge jumbotron TV sets and this material is lame. But….they were laughing at it..really sad. I can see how kids can get caught up in his persona with his good looks, animated stage presence and hip hair, but the material blows.
Some people take pride in knowing great wine, some great food, some even great movies; but I know great comedy and I’ll tell you what, as a connoisseur of fine, fine comedy…this guy fucking sucks. Let him make a buck, good for him, America is the land of opportunity. He’s probably a nice guy. He’s just not funny and it’s sad that he’s got this following of idiot lemmings who think he’s hilarious.
September 27th, 2006 at 5:29 pm
[...] Dane Cook Sucks [...]
September 29th, 2006 at 4:16 am
SO yeah I fucking HATE dane cook, I want to slice his head off with a butchering knife, I go to college at Illinois State and people payed upwards of 50 bucks for this dipshit, how are these damn college kids supposed to be educated when half of them never had a job and the others only do what their friends say are cool, annd yes thats all dane cook is a fucking terrible talentless hack of a trend and now the little cuntbag is making a movie with that fuckin shrill voice of his … i wanna kick him in the mouth every time he speaks … and the worst part is I’ve never once heard that jewbag chocalate monkey fart say a damn thing funny, his nipples should be ripped off as hes drowned in a sespool of his own filth!
September 30th, 2006 at 8:06 pm
I hate Dane Cook as well. After seeing him on SNL tonight, now I hate SNL too.
October 1st, 2006 at 8:12 am
Hey sukdikkers, just popped in to say that Dane Cook is the voice of our generation you know what i’m saying? YOU FUCKING RETARDS ON THIS RETARDED FUCKIN BLOG ARE DUMB AS SHIT FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU KISS MY SHIT YOU DUMB FUCKS. WESTON DEBOER YOU LOOK LIKE A MAN MEAT SMOKING PIECE OF SHIT ASSHOLE I HOPE YOU FUCKIN DIE AND GET FUCKING STOMPED OUT BY AN ENORMOUS PAIR OF PIG TITS
October 1st, 2006 at 12:03 pm
Dane Cook blows, man! I’ve seen the best of them. Sam Kinison, Bill Hicks, Rodney Dangerfield, Richard Pryor, etc. and these guys had something to say and you remembered them long after their set was over! Cook is a mindless hack and completely forgettable. I agree with the person who said it’s sad that College kids, who are supposed to be educated, are laughing at this whitebread hack who has absolutely NOTHING to say. With Cook it’s all about movement and expression and he does have some stage presence but there’s nothing else there. I admire that he built himself up via the internet and that he’s going after the American dream, but he makes Pauly Shore and Carrot Top look like absolute geniuses and that’s a very sad stratement about our society and our future. I’m sure he’s a nice guy and all that, but most people are mindless sheep and if something is shoved down their throat long enough they’ll end up loving it and beg for seconds. After all, look who they put in the White House. There are brilliant comics out there who are unknown and starving and they make a star out of this putz? Satan is winning, folks. You can paint a turd gold, but it’s still a turd. Most of the gay people I know are very funny naturally but Dane is a major exception to that rule. Oh, you didn’t know he was gay? Well, now you do. I have gay friends and I have nothing against that but at least the guy should admit it. At least he might find something funny to say about it and that would be a major coup for him.
October 2nd, 2006 at 2:51 pm
I could’nt agree more with all of these posts. People these days get sucked into laughing just cause everyone else is. Thats whats happening at most of his lousy shows. Dane Cooks material sucks and people need to realize it.
October 5th, 2006 at 7:08 am
The “Andrew Dice Clay of the Ipod Generation”…
Seconded. I watched an HBO special of Dane Cook the other night and was embarassed for about 5 minutes; Not only with the way that Cook jumped around on stage like an ape who has just discovered the joys of smelling/ throwing own their own crap…but the receptiveness through which the audience favorably received the excrement (in the form of comedic material). I shuddered and quickly changed the channel. Is good taste a thing of the past? (…Of course it is.) This is the techology age and where the quality of material has lessened at the expense of quantity, craptastic gimmicky feeding frenzies were bound to follow, in all mediums. To offer a possible diagnosis as to why Dane Cook is so successful, I have a feeling many kids that embrace Cook, does so more out of obligation…I mean they can relate to Cook. They can’t relate to guys like George Carlin and Richard Pryor because they are THIS generation, born with a silver spoon in their ass with little to knowledge of life. When you think about what Dane Cook represents, he’s the quintessential entrepreneurial IPOD ADHD boy of the 21st century. Certain people (usually within a very young demographic) see that and respond favorably to it, regardless of the quality of the material. Then again, most the people I know that like Dane Cook are 14-16 year old girls that really don’t have any concept of humor or for that matter life. Dane Cook is a fad…and the sooner he is swept under the carpet, the better.
October 5th, 2006 at 8:00 am
I was unlucky enough to flip by the Dane Cook HBO special last night when the Yankees/Tigers playoff game got rained out. I sat there for maybe ten minutes and never even cracked a smile. This guy is so un-funny it is painful to watch. Even more painful to see were the “crowd shots” of people laughing and virtually falling out of their seats. I heard nothing worthy of a soft chuckle, much-less the “belly laughs” I saw. This morning I needed to see just who this guy Cook is, Google-searched his name and found this blog. Thank God I’m not the only one who finds this slob completely UN-funny. I, too, saw all the best growing up in So-Cal….Robin Williams, Kinison, Pryor….THAT was comedy. I have no words for what this Dane Cook does…except he SUCKS!!
October 5th, 2006 at 9:12 am
yep. Just wanted to thank the you all for saying what I’ve also been saying all along. Dane Cook was, is, and probably never will be funny. Tom Arnold has more talent than this guy.
October 5th, 2006 at 11:25 am
Oh thank god, I thought I was going crazy. I watched the comedy central comedian stand off a few months ago. I was so psyched at the end thinking “wow this moron didnt even make the cut” and he fucking won. How How did he beat out people like Patrice Oneil “the soda can murderer, and as a voice for a generation, Jesus theres a hand full of comedians that are so funny, I actually felt embarased for him when he came out on stage acting like a rock star on the HBO special, jumping on tables etc etc. He just isnt funny.
October 5th, 2006 at 12:02 pm
I saw part of his HBO special and it was unwatchable. I just did a google for Dane Cook sucks and found this.
Mitch Hedberg was the greatest comedian of all time!!
October 5th, 2006 at 2:01 pm
I am glad people are starting to figure out Dane Cook has no comedic talent at all. He just tells a story, flails hims arms around, and makes funny noises. Then to really get the fratboys laughing, he will make some reference to Nintendo or something else from the eighties.
There are really no jokes in his standup. I remember he was on some Comedy Central show with three other comics. He was the headliner, and I just did not get him and again, no jokes just stories. He will slowly fade away, I mean how much material can he really have. He’s the N’SYNC of comedians
October 5th, 2006 at 10:09 pm
I can’t believe you guys don’t like Dane. This guy is a genius. I absolutely love his style and cleverness. Oh and some other things I really like include; rubbing shit all over my face, slamming my head against anything metal and scrathing my balls with rusty barbed wire. F Dane.
October 9th, 2006 at 11:03 am
Why, Why, WHY did this no talent geek get to host SNL once, let alone twice? Let me guess, it’s because he’s so “in your face”, right? Well, he and every other no talent assholes who are loved by human sheep because of their “in your faceness” can all go back to being baristas and be incredibly unfunny in between customers. Rehab is waiting for this fuckstick, and so is hosting infomercials for the hits of the ’60s, ’70s and ’80s. What kind of idiot buys this asswipes DVDs, anyway? Just goes to show you how stupid the youth of today really are. Besides not being able to spell to save their fucking lives, they now can’t distinguish between good or bad comedy, either.
October 11th, 2006 at 7:51 pm
I am so happy to see I am not the only one who thinks this guy is a tool. I guess you can’t fault someone for making a very good living, but the people that eat this shit up are idiots. His jokes are NOT funny at all. All this guy really does is animate everything he says…and he’s not saying ANYTHING. If anyone here caught Ike Barinholtz’s spoof of him on MadTV, you would see just how pathetic Dane Cook’s act is. The fact that he has a thriving career just goes to show you why shows like 2 1/2 men get huge ratings and shows like Arrested Development get canceled….the mass public are idiots that don’t want to have to think in order to laugh. Dane Cook SUUUUUUCCCCKS!
October 12th, 2006 at 3:15 am
I must admit, I too plugged in ” I hate Dane Cook” into google and hit this as the first blog on the subject. I came across him on the HBO specials and had never heard of him prior. The shows could not have been more unwatchable. When they finally aired the stand up routine, (I ‘m assuming was the finale to the roadshow that resembled just another bad reality program), I was brought to my absolute limits of dislike for this man and the time just stolen from me. What was it that I could not stand? As I too love comedy, I needed more than, He sucks!
Never having laughed at even one of his jokes, in the brief periods of watching it. I did see some of the material written down on wikipedia and you can see it is undeveloped in the traditional sense of crafting jokes, these are stories, with no respect for the build up and release of punchline or affect. Besides that, his delivery in both tone (he has only one) and attitude is off for the material.The fact that he laughs at all of his own jokes doesn’t help his cause. It is my contention that he relies on the fact that you “like” him to appreciate his humor. That it is your problem if this isn’t funny to you.
He insists in his delivery, that you look past his apparent shortcomings, by using sound effects and large gestures and go ahead and laugh anyway. This would be fine if Dane was your funny friend that you liked to hang with, but unless Dane calls you on the phone to go hang out, you don’t qualify for this description when buying an overpriced ticket to Tourgasm.
But back to the material, there is some good observations and humor there. While I am not waivering from the fact he is quite possibly one of the worst stand-up comedians to ever make it. When his star fades, I can see him possibly as a writer for others whom have the art of stand up more intutive to their nature.
October 12th, 2006 at 6:14 am
I have never seen anyone so unfunny yet so liked. Well at least since the you might be a redneck guy.
October 17th, 2006 at 9:35 am
Dane completely sucks…what an assclown. I hear him on XM radio a lot (on ch 150)…and I swear, not once have I cracked even a smile at his ’schtick’. I don’t get the buzz about him…I just don’t get it. Mitch Hedberg, Lewis Black, Carlin, Pryor, Doug Stanhope…even Craig Shoemaker…that’s some good stuff…he needs to listen and learn…
October 17th, 2006 at 2:35 pm
If you really want to rip a comedian apart, then yes, everything everyone saying is true. But don’t redirect me to listen to that dipshit Greg Giraldo, or Doug Stanhoe. That’s like saying that watching Joe Rogan on Fear Factor is entertaining…in a good way. And if Dane is so unfunny, then how did he get the fame? His jokes may not be the best, and he is loud, but everything he says is basically true, he just points it out in an obnoxious way.
Personally I really enjoy Mitch Hedberg. And so do some of you. But there’s probably people out there saying “Oh Mitch Hedberg was a jumbling druggie, you can’t understand a word that the fucking guy said.” Different comedians have different styles, it’s an opinion on whether you like them or not. So making a blog on one of them, not necassary.
October 23rd, 2006 at 1:13 pm
“And if Dane is so unfunny, then how did he get the fame? ”
I don’t know. You listen to the Macarena or Color Me Badd a lot these days? Lot of talent behind those projects.
October 27th, 2006 at 12:05 pm
hahaha this guy sit around and writes about how much he hates DANE cook, not dan, stupid fuck. he is more successful than you could ever dream of being. you have no sense of humor in any way and you should be shot in the head.
October 31st, 2006 at 1:56 pm
HAHA… Once again google hasn’t failed. I’m glad there’s people out there who see through cooks poor excuse for comedy. Just utter the name Dane Cook in any classe and you get about 13 dipshits to repeat his lame material or lack there of. I can only confide in the fact it’s a fad and will soon fade, if this is the mascot for my generation then I think we’re in trouble. Just because he puts a little product in his hair and works out, doesn’t mean he relates to me or my demographic…. He needs to stick to movies or run the risk of being forgotten by the time the next fad comedian comes into play. Whoever thinks Dane Cooke is funny needs to take advice from a real comedian such as Bill Hicks and take mushrooms and squeeqy you’re third eye… and stop laughing just because MTV told you its funny.. why not think critically and for yourself for once and stop being such impressionalist media cock sucking whores.. but Steve Dane has sold so many records and has such a large fan base… yeah well keep the penis jokes comming… Americans love that shit
October 31st, 2006 at 10:50 pm
Hitler was famous too. Dane Cook sucks big time. He’s for mindless idiots and unfortunately his huge number of empty souless fans prove that there are way too many of them in the world. Kinda makes me wish they’d bring the draft back. Mitch Hedberg, Bill Hicks, Lenny Bruce, George Carlin, and early Sam Kinison before he became a bloated unfunny drug addict were real comedians. Dane Cook can have all the money and fame in the world but he will NOT be remembered.
October 31st, 2006 at 10:52 pm
Sorry, I forgot to mention Richard Pryor and Redd Foxx in my list of real comics which Dane Cook will NEVER be a part of. Put Mr. C’s mediocre crap in the toilet with Pauly Shore and Carrot Top.
November 2nd, 2006 at 10:53 am
dane cook sucks ass. go to http://www.danecooksucks.com and join us.
November 2nd, 2006 at 3:28 pm
I’d like to know how he’s not going to be remembered when his record was 4th on the billboards beating Steve Martin out. He’s definatly going to be remembered but probably just on one of those “I love the 00’s” on VH1, but that’s about it.
November 3rd, 2006 at 5:45 am
my god, it hurt me deeply to hear such hateful and jealous words about another person from people who think so low of themsleves that they need to attack a successful person . Dane Cook is a comic genius in my opinion which i understand is my opinion, which is one of about 6 billion in the world. I didnt even hear about this guy until i watched him so dont assume that my opinion was swayed by anyone except Dane. The fact is, the reason why there are so many different successful comedians out there is because everyone is raised differently and different things tend to make different people laugh. Some people like south park, some like family guy and some like the simpsons. Just because a person doesnt like one of those shows doesnt make any one of those shows not funny. Now, i believe that the reason why you are all attacking dane cook is because he may have some attributes that remind you of a person from your past or he looks like a person that bothers you or a person that bulied you when you were younger, etc. What im trying to say is that there can be any number of reasons why an individual doesnt like someone or something, but remember that when someones eyes are covered by the veil of jealously and partiallity they tend to send messages of hate and try to find others to confide in like you all have done here. Now, its one thing to attack an individual person for their comic performance but its another when you attack the fans by calling them drones and zombies and so forth. None of you seem unintelligent but you really show your ass when you attack others in such a manner.
November 5th, 2006 at 5:08 pm
you all are total loseres. dane cook is the most fucking funniest person ever to be born. you guys just don’t apperiate good comedy. ya there are other funny people but dane cook is the best one. and he must be funny because he has over 1 million fans on myspace, has to hit cd’s with dvds, all of his shows have been sold out, retalition made number 4 on the chart that is the highest for a comedian since steve martin, his SUFI (superfinger) is sweeping the nation, everyone is doing it, even adults love him. and after all this you have the nerve to say he sucks, well i think you guys suck an ddon’t know what you guys are talking about.
November 6th, 2006 at 8:15 am
Dane Cook is the most talented comedian out there. He’s fucking hilarous. I hate you people.
November 9th, 2006 at 7:27 pm
The stupider you are, the funnier Dane Cook is.
November 10th, 2006 at 10:01 am
Dane Cook is the fucking worst comic ever to be popular. If you all who like him had half of a brain you’d understand that his jokes are inane petty ancd most of all shit. You cannot compare Dane to the genious mentioned above. They had something to say. Anyone who plays off Americas stupidity is petty and should not be allowed to take the stage. The fans of this retard can burn in hell. In fact he funniest thing Dane Cook could do is burn in hell. I would laugh my ass off to see him where he belongs. I would like to meet the retarded son of a bitches who think he is funny and gladly throw them off the edge of the perverbial world. A man with no talent should not be given credit for bullshit. Additionally you who like him like him because he is popular. You laugh because the other morons are laughing and have no sense of independent thought. HE has shown the world its own stupidity , what a fucking pussy.
November 10th, 2006 at 3:37 pm
“you guys just don’t apperiate good comedy”
Haha, a prime example of one of Dane Cook’s fans! The brainless moron can’t spell for the life of him/her. I agree with every single one of you for the fact that Dane is the LEAST funniest person ever to do stand-up. His routine is the same goddam thing, over-reacting jumping around and shouting like an idiot. I mean have you actually listened to his work? Its crap, unfunny, and only appeals to morons like himself and all of the people who added him on myspace.
November 11th, 2006 at 2:16 am
dane cook is one hell of a comedian, you guys must be watching something completely different cause there is no doubt in my mind that he is a genius. I think most of your hatred stems from stupidity, ignorance, and(most of all) JEALOUSY!!!! I watched all the other comedians that you nerds listed and they all sucked in comparison to Dane Cook. He has material and its always fresh. Not only has he mastered physical comedy but he also serves up original wit and humor unlike most of the bullshit out there today. The fact is Dane dares to be different, he dares to be himself and prudes like you are to jealous to see him succeeding. It is pretty funny to hear you all ranting and raving about how america is stupid and you’re so intelligent. You guys are just a bunch of egotistical fucks who think they are special. Just because you don’t think Dane is funny doesnt mean everyone is stupid for liking them. Infact, if you think that then that means you are extremely ignorant and prob say these things to make yourself feel beter.
November 13th, 2006 at 1:42 pm
I can safely say, without reservations, that Dane Cook is the most overrated stand up comedian of all time. I can see how people who don’t know comedy too well like him. He’s charismatic, energetic and gives off a feeling like he’s almost your friend when he’s onstage. However, any comedy enthusiast worth his salt knows that those things do not a comic make. A new perspective on a subject, a biting wit (which Cook lacks despite some protestors on this board) and an ability to turn logic and conventions on their head, however, do contribute to a great comedian. Personally, I despise Dane Cook’s material, delivery and style. I prefer more poignant and interesting comedians; my personal favorites are Mitch Hedberg, Demetri Martin, David Cross and Zack Galifianakis.
But my BIGGEST problem with Dane Cook is his scripted style. Recently I saw Bob Saget live (which was underwhelming) and he spent literally half of his act just riffing off the audience and improvising entirely. That is the mark of a true comedian. I’ve been going to comedy clubs all over Manhattan and New York since I was 12 years old and the ability to think onstage is a must in my opinion. Furthermore, Dane Cook’s act isn’t just memorized or learned. It is committed to his memory verbatim. Not one word changes from show to show. He’s even gone to the trouble of memorizing off-hand comments (calling Walgreen’s “The Wall”) which he tries to pass off as novel and spur of the moment. In closing, Dane Cook licks nuts.
November 16th, 2006 at 11:16 am
To the guy who just wrote before me:
First off, let me start by saying thank you for not attacking the people that find Dane Cook funny but, i can say without a doubt that you definitely don’t know Dane Cook. I know that there is no way i can change anyone’s opinion on this matter but i will say that i have seen all types of comedians and i can safely say that Dane Cook is the most original of them all. I think that you cant be so stuck up on what’s good comedy and what’s bad comedy. Its kinda lame when you talked about “knowing good comedy”, who the hell are you? The fact is, funny is funny and if someone makes people laugh then they are funny. Dane Cook apparently makes a lot of people laugh, so therefore he’s funny. End of story.
November 19th, 2006 at 10:02 am
To Dave:
Who the hell am I? I established who I am and what my credentials are. I’ll repeat. I’m a person who has been going to comedy clubs all over New York City, which is the breeding ground for most up and coming comedians, for almost my entire life. Furthermore, I’m a person who has seen Jerry Seinfeld, Dave Chappelle, Chris Rock and countless other comedians live in these very clubs. To further my knowledge of the field, I study comedy. I scour hours upon hours of standup, Improv, and sketch comedy, honing the craft because I am, in fact, a comedy writer.
Now, if you don’t mind me asking, who are you? After all, you make a very, VERY bold claim that “Dane Cook is the most original” of all the types of comedians you’ve seen. What types of comedians have you seen?
On another note, popularity does not make something right. Hitler had a huge following, I suppose that justified his actions? While its ridiculous to compare Dane Cook to Hitler, although the similarities are tempting (think a charismatic leader holding the attention of a mindless, sheep-like flock), taking an issue to an extreme easily sharpens an argument.
Again, I don’t doubt Cook’s ability to entertain, but remember we live in a culture wherein millions upon millions of young adults search the internet for amatuer videos of people getting hit in the nuts, of fat people dancing, and of monkeys masterbating and such. So to me, what lots of people find funny, is not always so funny when you take an intelligent perspective on it. End of story.
November 20th, 2006 at 11:12 am
to notDaneCook:
Look, i understand that if you live a life devoted to other people’s humor it can be quite shocking to experience a new type of comedian. I can also understand that it can be quite threatening to see another comedian do better than those comedians that you enjoy. It’s kinda like football teams, just cause another team is doing good doesnt mean you should like them and when you talk about that team you probably want to point out all their bad qualities in order to convince others that they are not that great. Also, like i’ve stated before, just as beauty is in the eye of the beholder so to is comedy. Now it seems to me, which is irony at its finest, that almost everyone on this blog wants to jump on the “Dane Cook’s fans are mindless drones” bandwagon. The fact is that an actor can pretend to be sad,happy,mad and all other forms of emotions but noone can pretend to be funny, its impossible. By the way, just cause you have seen alot of comedians and have studied what’s “funny” doesnt mean that you have any higher athority concerning any comedian. Sure, it’s your opinion and you are entitled to that but yours is one in a million.
p.s. you like man-whores
November 20th, 2006 at 12:37 pm
Dave:
I really am starting to enjoy this back and forth. First off, I have not devoted my life to other people’s humor, although I thought I made that clear in my previous posts. Such a pursuit is notable, however, as it is what many comedians do in developing a unique style.
You’re right, by the way: Comedy is subjective. (The word for “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” is subjective.) However, one can analyze the merits of what is funny and what is not. For example, saying “sanguich” instead of sandwich is not especially funny. What if I said “gunny” instead of funny? Is that humor? (Oh, right. I have to say it in a “wacky” voice.) So no, while I can’t dispute what’s funny and what isn’t as it is subjective (see above for definition), observing different types of humor can give someone an idea of what good comedy is (I hesitate in using the word good because as I’ve established comedy is subjective).
Now, of course it is merely my opinion I’ve been stating (that “Dane Cook licks nuts”), but the benefit of being well versed in comedy, or any subject for that matter, is that an opinion can be educated and not based on a limited view. I could make a bold statement condemning the Thebans in ancient Greece, but I have no idea what I’m talking about. Sure it’s my opinion, but its almost entirely worthless. This is how I consider the opinions of many people who love Dane Cook but lack both knowledge of the field and an ability to articulate it (save for “He rocks!”).
As for Dane Cook’s fans being mindless drones (your words, not mine), I think many people feel that way (including me) because few people can define or explain why they laugh at Cook. He doesn’t really tell jokes, he just is Dane Cook, which is mildly amusing. Yet, en masse these fans can’t get enough of him. However “original and fresh” (your words, not mine) you think Mr. Cook is, its sad to say that every style of comedy has some form of ancestry and some similar roots. So, I’m not some xenophobic outcast who merely hates Cook because I fear change. I hate Cook because he sucks.
P.S. Who told you I like man-whores? How’d you know?
P.P.S. Someone please note the irony of a person being incredibly devoted to a comedian who is notorious for over-hyping, publicizing and selling merchandise (which many would consider being a “man-whore”), and accusing someone else who dislikes said comedian of loving man-whores.
Dave please re-read and digest this post in its entirety. I know, I threw around some big words and maybe you’ll head will begin to hurt. Take some advil, throw on Retaliation and relax for a moment. Then, when you feel you’re ready, continue reading.
November 21st, 2006 at 3:52 pm
haha, thanks for the definition of a word i already knew webster, i didnt want to sound like a pretentious prick but since you already filled that spot(and you really laid it on thick too didn’t ya), i guess colloquial teminology is no longer needed. First off, Dane Cook, who’s just another dude trying to make it big like everyone else in showbiz(which i guess makes him a man-whore, right?), didn’t get on stage and say “sanguich” expecting everyone to think he was a comic genius becuase of that one word. He throws little tid bits like that into his comedy which i think adds to the humor and which i guess orthodox comedians don’t do(you know blah, blah, blah punch line type deal which is something you seem to enjoy). You say you analyze comedy and that from your analysis you have determined through “comedy science”(i guess) that Dane Cook is not the comedian that all of his fans believe him to be. That he gets up on stage and manipulates and overly eager crowd of unintelligent, drone-like zombies, who laugh only because his “energy” is so intense and overwhelming. What a crock of huey. Alright, we’ll play your game and discuss different aspects of comedy and how Dane Cook has mastered them. First category: physical comedy. Dane Cook, which i’m sure you will have to agree with, is superb at physical comedy. From his bit about the guy getting struck by a vehicle to his excellent and hilarious impersonation of tom cruise on the oprah winfrey show. His physical comedy rivals that of jim carrey and conan o’brien. Second catagory: delivery. Delivery is an integral part of any comedians performance that can make or brake them. Dane Cook has top-notch delivery which you have to agree with because otherwise how would something as simple as saying “sanguich” get laughs. Third category: personality. He has a good one which people like, its one reason why he is where he is today. Fourth category: content. Is what Dane Cook talks about actually funny? short answer: yeah, long answer: hell yeah. It’s a rare thing for me to find a comedian who makes me laugh like Dane Cook makes me laugh(including Dave Chapelle, Jon stewart, but fuck Carlos Mencia that guy is awful). Look, i don’t idolize Dane Cook but i do know that he’s funny because he makes me laugh not because others laugh at him. The only reason i keep responding to this page is because i don’t think that a guy who has done so well in his line of work should be bashed by hateful, wannabe comedians and because i have no life.
P.S. Any comedian you disect will come out looking not funny unless they tell jokes that anyone can tell their friends. Dane Cooks humor lies in his presence, movement, and original jokes and if you strip him of any of those qualities then you don’t have Dane Cook.
P.P.S You’ll never get passed the fact that comedy is subjective because there is no way to argue that. You tried but failed, comedy isnt science.
P.P.P.S you lubricate your hand with your own shit before you mastubate, i’ve seen you and it’s sick
November 22nd, 2006 at 10:18 pm
What would describe why most people dislike Dane Cook is through a simple analogy of art. A lot of people have problems with some art because it involves very little effort on the artist’s part.
In a simple sense, Dane Cook would be like the guy that takes a urinal and flips it upside down and calls it art. (And I kid you not this IS a real peice of artwork)
People praise it all over because it’s different but artists and people who work generally with art completley despise it because it involves no real process or concept. People make it better than it actualy is and the people who work their asses off to learn how to mold and paint the human figure accurately just get brushed aside.
But, by this I can honestly say - Dane Cook took advantage of what people seem to like however, he deserves no respect as a stand-up comedian. Maybe as a performer/entertainer but not as a comedian. It’s as simple as, you can go on wikiquote (or any other quote website for that matter) and read excerpts from a number of comedian’s acts. When you read Dane Cook’s, I’m sorry, they’re just not funny on paper. Sure, it’s all subjective, but most people who argue with me and claim he’s funny can’t really back it up. A lot of people compare him to Jim Carrey but, the problem is Jim Carrey wasn’t a very well-liked stand-up comedian. And on the other hand he is excellent with impressions. Which is one huge step up from Dane Cook. But, the thing is, Jim Carrey seems to be better fit for Lighthearted Drama rather than comedy. But before I get too far off topic let’s sum one thing up - Dane Cook is a good preformer, but not a good Stand-up Comedian. There’s a huge difference between the two.
November 23rd, 2006 at 10:35 pm
My masterbatory habits should have no place on this board. I firmly stand by that. My masterbatory habits do, however, belong on my other blog, http://www.watchmelubricatemyhandwithmyownshitbeforeImasterbate.org. (Unfortunately, .com was taken.)
Isn’t it funny how intelligence and sophisticated argument are construed as being pretentious? Dave, sorry to say I didn’t think subjective was that far out of your range of vocabulary. (On another note, what’s more pretentious, saying “subjective” or “colloquial terminology”? I’ll let you decide.) The word “break”, however, might be. (”Delivery is an integral part of any comedians performance that can make or brake them” as quoted from your previous post.) Now, as for quoting within a statement, you should try to avoid creating false quotes, especially when all my previous comments are available for inspection. Most notably, you mention some “comedy science” or something to that effect, which you procede to debunk and demystify. The problem being, though, that no one (at least not me) mentioned a “comedy science;” that idea is just retarded.
As for the rest of Dave’s post: Personally, I find physical comedy to be one of the lowest forms. A sight gag requires more flair, a witty remark better timing, a smart quip better writing. Physical comedy requires someone to fall down or get hit in the nuts. But, it is a legitimate form of comedy nonetheless. I’m sure Dane Cook does great physical comedy, but so does Gallagher and Carrot Top. His getting hit by a car routine is very funny, I’ll admit. I’m sure it wouldn’t have been so funny though if Mr. Cook wrote it. It was originally written and incorporated into Louis C.K.’s standup act years ago. Dane Cook then stole the material and tried pawning it off as his own (look it up in Google or Wikipedia if you’d like, I believe he stole 2 other bits from C.K.). I find his delivery to be over the top and reaching desperately for laughs/attention. He overdoes everything, which one could say is his style. But to me, his style is about as sophisticated as monkeys jumping all over their cages, because they look incredibly similar. His personality is that of a loud jackass who jumps all over stage. Furthermore, his delivery does not vary; its loud, obnoxious Dane all the time (except for when he’s offstage and out of character). That’s another thing that bugs me, by the way. He’s a fraud. Like Carlos Mencia (whose real name is Ned Holness, which isn’t as conducive to racist jokes as Carlos Mencia) or Larry the Cable Guy (whose actually named Daniel and comes from the deep south of Nebraska), Dane Cook has created this onstage persona that is not who he really is. Now some people might pay to see a guy do a character for a whole show, but I like to see stand up comedians be stand up comedians. Call me old fashioned (I mean, I do use my own feces for masturbation!).
Really Dave, if you re-read my posts you’ll realize that I don’t discredit Cook as a performer (he’s great at that). He’s just a shitty stand up comedian. His material holds very little comedic value, which indicates that he’s an unoriginal, lacking writer. That’s all, which is fine. I only get frustrated when people try to pawn off this no-talent hack of a poor excuse for a comedian as the best standup comedian ever. I actually get more upset when people say, “He’s the voice of our generation, the iPod generation.” (That actually compunds the issue because the iPod generation title is such a branded, commercialized, trivializing way to describe a culture and group of people.)
I also enjoyed what Zatch had to say.
January 9th, 2007 at 8:31 am
You so sad, you make me cry. Dane he make me laugh and laugh; and he laugh and laugh at you. Attention, Hmm?
January 13th, 2007 at 10:26 pm
Dane Cook sux ass. His material is horrible. I tried to sit through a few of his shows on HBO and on youtube, but it was just plain boring. I consider Dane Cook to comedy as The Spice Girls were to music. No comedic talent what-so-ever. Is he making money? Yes. Good for him. Just don’t try to tell me he is one of the best comics of all-time. Not even close. I would much rather watch the video of the Indian Midget poppin and lockin than to watch any of Cook’s shitty show.
You know what really makes me laugh. Reading all these “he’s the voice of our generation” comments. 15-21 year olds saying a 35 year old idiot is the voice of their generation.
Comics I think are funny:
Bill Hicks, Louis CK, Lewis Black, Dave Atell, Chappelle, Robin Harris, Mitch Hedberg, Pryor.
January 19th, 2007 at 10:21 am
Melinda- way to go, babe! You almost had some complete sentences there! Keep trying!
Take a look at some other “I hate Dane Cook” -type sites, and you’ll see that about 95% of the people who defend him write like Melinda, which is to say, like a nine year-old with severe Down Syndrome.
January 29th, 2007 at 1:53 pm
dane cook is the absoute worst comedian of all time. he is fucking terrilbe.
January 31st, 2007 at 3:44 am
DaneCookSucksBalls.com LOLOLOL
February 2nd, 2007 at 8:53 pm
LOL, LOL, LOL, LOL!!!!!!! Dave you are so funny man, you should be with Dane Cook making lame jokes and telling people that they have no life ’cause they don’t like Dane Cook. Ooh almighty Dave you are so hilarious, just like Dane Cook. Jello pudding eating motherfucker.
February 3rd, 2007 at 4:31 pm
Dane Cook is useless, untalented, & boring. Watching him makes me want to slit my wrists. He is so damn unoriginal, he makes one lame half ass joke, and he runs with it for 5 minutes. Any moran can can do what he can, but nobody can be as crap tacular as Dane Cook’s ussless ass.
I’m sick of everybody trying to force dane cook down my neck. I hate him, so leave me the fuck alone. Is anyone else tired of having Dane Cook forced upon them, or is that me?
February 6th, 2007 at 2:56 pm
Dane Cook is the most untalented tool on the media in today’s day and age. I gave him a fair chance, as I do to all comedians. I was told by what USED to be considered a reliable source that he is “just the funniest guy ever”. I listened to him rant about things that don’t even exist. I actually heard the man say that it would be fun to punch your step mother. That was the setep, the delivery, and the punchline. All I have to say is that if you want TRUE comedy, look up Brian Regan. He is also a clean comedian, suprisingly enough.
PS - Dane Cook steals any material from his shows that are remotely funny
February 6th, 2007 at 3:00 pm
PSS - Dane Cook responded to his claims of stealing material by stating “We have to learn to agree to disagree”. What a dickhead.
February 10th, 2007 at 8:45 pm
Everyone I know worships Dane and thinks he’s hilarious. A friend convinced me to buy his album Retaliation. A lot of it made me laugh and for a while I was a Fan. Then I saw his HBO special which was complete crap and his Tourgasm show disapointed me when it wasn’t funny at all after being so hyped up. I definatly don’t hate Dane cook with the passion that you all seem to, nor do I think he is as great a comedian as everyone sais he is. I’m not going to rip on him or come to his defense. Althogh I understand why those of you who dont like him would be pissed off by everyone worshipping him as a comedic genius, I think its stupid to make a whole web sight just to say how much you hate a person. With that being said, I myself dont have much of an opinion on the man anymore.
Go figure.
February 15th, 2007 at 5:02 pm
So I’m in Montreal, at the comedy festival, a few years back, before Dane was SO huge. I awalys thought he was an un-orginal talent-less hack. That was just me. but here I am, hanging out with a bunch of Bosten legonds, (Lenny Clarke, Tony V, and either Donny Gavin or Kenny Rodgerson, not sure but it was quite a table of Bosten monsters. Well you should have seen Dane orbiting the table, just dying to be a part of this group. The guys were just ignoring him, making comments, it was beautiful to see. You see Dane can fool the dopey kids who wouldn’t know a comic if they tripped over him, but the real barometer is respect of your peers……………….of which Dane gets none.
February 15th, 2007 at 5:02 pm
So I’m in Montreal, at the comedy festival, a few years back, before Dane was SO huge. I awalys thought he was an un-orginal talent-less hack. That was just me. but here I am, hanging out with a bunch of Bosten legonds, (Lenny Clarke, Tony V, and either Donny Gavin or Kenny Rodgerson, not sure but it was quite a table of Bosten monsters. Well you should have seen Dane orbiting the table, just dying to be a part of this group. The guys were just ignoring him, making comments, it was beautiful to see. You see Dane can fool the dopey kids who wouldn’t know a comic if they tripped over him, but the real barometer is respect of your peers……………….of which Dane gets none.
February 17th, 2007 at 11:25 pm
hurray!!!
I was bummed out looking at Mitch Hedberg’s stuff going, “man, how do people think Dane Cook is funny at all? There’s a kid in my spanish class that thinks Dane is the “MAN” and I don’t want to be an ass hole and say: Umm…He’s a thief, retard, and he’s not funny. So i try to turn him on to crazy good stuff (cuz he himself is a funny guy, i think he knows funny just hasn’t had his horizon expanded) like Mitch, Richard Pyror, Robin Williams, Eddie Murphy, Rodney Dangerfeild, ect.
What ev. See how that works out
So anyway, cool. Googled I hate Dane Cook and found this place.
We should make T-shirts
February 19th, 2007 at 10:27 pm
that inbred dipshit motherfucking candy coated ass smacker needs so much to be taken out into the back woods and cum on over and over again. ugh. what a friggin’ tool
dane cook can lick my ass for a shiny new nickel
February 20th, 2007 at 4:00 pm
I totally agree with everyone here. Dane Cook is a whiny tool. I thought I liked his comedy till I saw a few episodes of that terribly awful tourgasm. He’s so abrasive, and stupid. He complains about everything. I’ve had enough of Mr Cook. Where are all of the new comics? This guy seems to take up every lick of space there is. I hope to god, he doesn’t make too many more movies either!
February 25th, 2007 at 3:46 pm
I fucking hate Dane Cook. Not even his audiences find him funny — they never laugh, just cheer. Why are they cheering? Is the stuff he has to say even that insightful or profound, if not funny? Fuck no it isn’t. It’s just a bunch of mind-numbing, asinine, juvenile horseshit. I can’t fucking believe the state of the comedy circuit these days. “The DC,” he calls himself. The D - fucking - C. What is he, some kind of down syndrome frat boy? Who are all these skullfucked morons who actually like him? Fuck man, I wish Bill Hicks were still alive. He could direct a TV miniseries called “Let’s Hunt and Kill Dane Cook 2007.” Only way Dane Cook could ever make me laugh would be if he were the star of a snuff film. Listening to his pitiful pleas for mercy and pain-wracked screaming as the chainsaw went into his stomach would crack me up for days. Hell, I’d love to direct that snuff film. It could be aired back-to-back on MTV. I could seriously kill that obnoxious, subhuman, inbred little pantywaste. To my knowledge, he’s never really hurt anyone, but I could fucking kill him all the same just for being so stupid and brainwashing so many people and for being so successful just by being a total fucking idiot.
I could go on and on. But I won’t. I’m glad I found this website. Reading all the things you people have to say about that waste of life that is “the DC” has really brightened my day. And Carter Wilson, T-shirts are a great idea, sir. I’d wear one with pride.
February 25th, 2007 at 3:56 pm
notdanecook is one cool mofo.
February 28th, 2007 at 9:07 am
Hey, Just back off. Dane Cook is Awesome. So what, he has his Crazy screaming moments. You guys just dont appreciate his Success. Brian Regan? Who the hell thinks brian regan is cool? He Sucks! We’re all Entitled to an opinion. But Come on…..
March 1st, 2007 at 4:08 pm
I too suffer at the hands of Cook fans. Little ratdicks that guffaw every time he prances about on stage.
Fuck him.
What kind of world is this: Bill Hicks is dead, but this little no-talent prick goes on.
Now I’m depressed.
March 7th, 2007 at 9:35 pm
I used to be a huge dane cook fan. I saw him in Chicago and yes he is talented. He is talented in the fact that he gets people to laugh about stuff they already know. Its humor that they don’t have to think about. He just tells a story and wears tight jeans and shirts and makes crazy noises. I saw Daniel Tosh at the improv, probably the funniest show I have ever seen in my life. I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants. We will just have to see if dane changes it up on his next album.
April 4th, 2007 at 12:19 pm
Geesh Man… Sorry guys… I mean I didn’t know you we all so smart that you couldn’t laugh at my jokes… I mean I thought I just a different way of looking at things but damn… I guess I’ll just give all this money back to the millions of people that gave it to me….. I only wish I could be as smart as you guys….
April 7th, 2007 at 5:48 pm
It’s not that big a deal I personaly don’t like his style but its just comedy I’ll watch the comedy I like and let others watch theres no big deal
April 16th, 2007 at 7:30 pm
Man fuck all you haters…Dane Cook is the SHIT!!! who cares how he got to comedy and what he did? all that matters is that he has been successful through comedy that pleases the majority of people, nobody cares bout you faggots that dont like him, and that he makes more money than any of you idiots who spend all ur time criticizing his works. you all can “blow me.” DANE COOK IS A BAMF so get over yourselves, you punk ass haters!!!
April 26th, 2007 at 11:10 pm
Anybody who feels the need to insult others just because they have a different sense of humor is the one that needs their head examined.
May 6th, 2007 at 12:32 am
I agree
all dane cook does is take a normal gay old stpry and looks up a couple words in the dictionary and add a couple funny noises so he sounds funny and smart.
He has no talent in being a comedian.
All my freinds like him along with Larry the cable guy
They hate me for disliking dane
I say fuck him and my freinds
May 6th, 2007 at 12:33 am
J…
if you dont like to judge others than fuck off cuz thats wat your doin now
judgin us
people have opinions, you have yours and we have ours so fuck off
May 7th, 2007 at 9:51 pm
Um first off I think you give this man a lot less credit than he deserves. Its true that he doesn’t have a punch line in his entire act, and that he is more of an actor/spazz on stage, but the stories he tells are things my generation can relate to. I don’t think he is the greatest comic, I wouldnt even put him in my top 15. And the guy that said Mitch Hedberg is the best, I don’t know about that one, I thought he was kind of funny but not that great.
Um number 1 would have to be Dave Chappelle, not Chappelle’s show but more of Killin’ Em Softly or For What It’s Worth Chappelle. His show just gained too many fans that really didnt appreciate his stand up as much as they should. If I had to order my favorite comics it would be as such:
1. Dave Chappelle
2. Christopher Titus
3. Pablo Fransisco
4. Greg Geraldo
5. Richard Prior
6. Zach Galifianakis
And then there are a ton more that would follow like Mike Birbiglia, Ted Alexandro, Bruce Bruce, Adam Ferrara, Jim Gaffigan, George Carlin, Collin Quinn …
But maybe comedy is just turning that way, look at more youthful comics (Nick Swardson, Demetri Martin, and yes Dane Cook), maybe stand up is changing. They are all more of entertainers.
So to fly off the handle and just say this guy fucking sucks is a little foolish. He has sold the most comedy albums since Steve Martin, so you have to give him some credit if people find him funny. Yes, he is perverted, hyper, off the wall, and loud, but sometimes that is fun to watch and a lot of his stories the youth can relate to. And saying that he steals jokes from like Louie C.K. and Jim Breuer is saying that they tell jokes the exact same way.
SO I wouldn’t go as far as saying he sucks. At times, he is very funny and at other times I find him to be not so funny. And I thought Tourgasm was like pulling teeth, it was pretty bad.
May 7th, 2007 at 9:56 pm
Oh and just to state an opinion, the worst comic ever would have to be Larry the Cable Guy, closely followed by everyone else on the Blue Collar Comedy Tour. I watched the first two movies or stand ups and did not laugh a single time. None of them are funny. Jeff Foxworthy does boring observational comedy that only relates to hillbillies, Bill Engval or whatever is just his lackey, and Ron White is a drunk who is just as bad as those two. But Larry the Cable Guy is def. the worst of them all. He is like Dane by having no punch lines, but he just tells story with no humor to them. Like the classic “I went to the flea market”. That was the most unfunny two and half hours of my life. I would rather have sex with a pile of glass then watch that ever again.
September 25th, 2007 at 8:38 pm
DANE COOK FUCKING RULES SO SUCK MY DICK U FAGGOTS!!!!!!!
October 7th, 2007 at 2:58 pm
Screw you guys Dane Cook is Fucking AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hes so funny and hes FREAKIN HOTT